


Birdbrains

by jenphalian



Series: Old MacClucky's Farm [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Chickens, Clucky - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:13:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenphalian/pseuds/jenphalian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THE KAT DEMANDS MORE CLUCKY FIC. Fine, whatever, she can have it, but it's gonna be fluffy Christmas with a little angsty-bisexual Natasha SO THERE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birdbrains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zarhooie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarhooie/gifts).



It was only a week until Christmas, and Clint's surprise for Bucky was going to be ready in plenty of time. Pepper had assigned him a spot in the tower, with huge windows even, and given him a budget and staff to remodel it. Of course, Clint didn't have the first clue how to remodel a giant corner office into a faux barn, but Sam Wilson had been an enormous help.

"I searched google for 'barn wood' and I found a lot of stuff on this thing called Eetsy, but I think I need walls before I can hang upcycled oak candle sconces, right?"

"Yeah, Clint," Sam chuckled. "Listen, why don't you talk to the carpenters about nesting boxes and I'll talk to the plumbers."

Sam was a pretty cool guy, with surprising areas of knowledge. Clint was long since over his jealous angst about Sam dating Captain America. Clint's own brief fling with Steve Rogers had been fun, but he was much happier with Bucky's cute li'l frowns and sarcastic humor. It was almost like their lives were one big wacky sex comedy and the writers of the series got bored with the jealous angst thing, so they moved the characters forward in time and declared them all friends again.

Bucky seemed a little sad and lonely sometimes at Avengers Tower, even with the regular group movie nights. Clint knew he missed the little farm up in Vermont, so his idea for Christmas was to bring some of that farm home to the Tower. Now the comfy barn room was fully plumbed, fitted out, and just awaiting the arrival of its residents. The truck from the farm was due this afternoon, and Clint was trying to figure out how to get Bucky away so he wouldn't see the arrival of dozens of chicken crates. Bucky was smart, like super-assassin-smart, so it was going to take a good ruse.

"Ow!" There was an elbow in Clint's rib.

"Hey, what are you doing for lunch?" It was Natasha.

"Trying to figure out how to get Bucky out of the Tower."

"Is it Chicken Delivery Day?"

"Yeah."

"Perfect! I'm meeting someone and I want company. We'll make it a double-date."

"Ooh, is he gonna be the one? Is he triple-sexy? Are you gonna kiss him?" After all the time Natasha spent successfully matchmaking the male Avengers with each other, they all enjoyed ribbing her about her own string of hunky-but-boring OKCupid dudes.

"Shut up." Natasha pushed him down the hall towards the Avengers command center. "She gave me her number at a coffee shop."

"Oooh, a she? That's new for you. Are you finally gonna play on our team?" Really, it did seem a little odd sometimes that nearly every single person involved in the Avengers was queer one way or another, but what're you gonna do? Superheroism and strict heterosexuality just didn't seem to mix.

"I said shut up! She's really pretty. Just come along and be yourself. I'll seem even more awesome by comparison." They entered the command center and Maria Hill looked up from the central post and waved. "Hey, Hill, what's up?"

"Passive scans have been detecting an increase in sciensonic energy at a location in midtown. We're sending in a team to check it out."

"Sounds dire."

"The science bros don't think it's dangerous, but it's near the Baxter Building so we're using an abundance of caution. Probably just an unregistered subsidiary of some Richards project working above their pay-grade." Clint found the superscience corporate rivalries incredibly boring. Point him at problems he could solve by shooting arrows and he was happy. It never worked out that easy, but a guy could dream, right?

"Hey Hill, do you know where Bucky is?"

"I think he's in the vents, chasing down one of Tony's rogue sentient appliances."

Clint and Natasha set off to find him.

****************

"Natasha, if this woman has stood you up, I'll find her and poison her for you," Bucky was saying later.

She just rolled her eyes. "Please, like you could get to her before me."

"Obviously."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm faster and deadlier than you, and I do it with perfect hair." She eyed the messy topknot Bucky was sporting, which actually, Clint thought his hair was really hot that way. He imagined undoing it, feeling Bucky's hair tumble over his thighs, enjoying his caresses. Clint shifted on the diner bench and forced his mind away from dirty daydreams.

"I know your reputation is fearsome, but I think Clint would agree with me that my skills are--"

"Woah, woah, hey now," Clint interrupted. "You're both pretty. But so's that out-of-breath blonde." He pointed towards the front of the diner.

"Ohmygosh, that's her!" Natasha put her hand in the air and waved the woman over. "Val! Over here!" Then she hissed, "act cool, you guys. Just... Yeah. Shut up and act cool."

Bucky sipped at his coffee. Clint suppressed a smirk.

"Clint, quit smirking!" Okay, but he really had tried to suppress it. It was just too adorable watching Natasha being flustered and blushing for once.

The woman came to the table and apologized for being late, something about a surprise OSHA inspection at her office. Natasha fell all over herself not minding a little lateness, and they ordered food, and had a surprisingly good time. Clint watched his phone anxiously until he finally got a text from Sam.

The chickens had landed. At last.

****************

Christmas morning. Well, it counted as morning if Clint hadn't had coffee yet, right? He dragged himself out of bed. On the floor was the pair of purple-with-arrows pajama pants that Nat had given him last night. She was going to spend Christmas with Val, a real whirlwind romance apparently, so the Avengers exchanged gifts over hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.

The big surprise for Bucky was still waiting. The chickens were settled now, mostly over the stress of the move. Clint had been checking in on them every day since their arrival. Pepper's animal care staff (they were already providing veterinary and clean-up care for the various cats, dogs, turtles, and hedgehogs that were pets of the Avengers) was doing an excellent job, of course. He'd eat some breakfast, then find Bucky and show him the little barn paradise. Bucky would be really happy and, like, grateful, and Clint would probably get a million kisses. Kisses wherever he wanted.

Clint decided that a major holiday meant he could go commando. He tied the string of the pajama pants really tight, though, before heading to the common kitchen for some Hawk-O's. He was huddled over a sweet crunchy bowl of heaven, coffee percolating behind him, when Bucky waltzed in wearing his overalls, swinging a hammer.

"Mmm, look who's awake and still topless."

"Merry Christmas, Buck!"

"Swallow your food first, Birdbrain."

Clint did, and then asked Bucky what was up with the sawdust in his hair, but Bucky just went over to the sink and brushed it off before fixing Clint's coffee.

"Hey!" Clint was saying a few minutes later. "my Hawk-O's are getting all soggy. Can't you let a man finish his breakfast in peace?"

"Finnnnnne," Bucky pouted, and he stopped stroking that spot on Clint's back. "But I like what happens to your nipples when I do that."

"My nipples aren't all that's hard," Clint said, "but come on. I have a Christmas present for you!" He dropped his bowl in the sink and then proceeded down the hall, coffee in one hand, dragging Bucky with the other.

"If this Christmas present is more important to you than carnal activities, you should wear a shirt," Bucky complained.

"Ta da!" Clint threw open the door of the barn. "For you!"

Something was wrong, though. Bucky was smirking. He went inside and picked up one of his chickens, but he didn't even look surprised. "Happy, um, Christmas?" Clint finished limply.

"I love it. You total birdbrain. But Thor spilled the beans in the weightroom this morning." He was cuddling the chicken, who didn't mind being in the crook of Bucky's sexy metal arm so long as her feathers were being skritched in the right way.

"Aww, Thor. Wait, you were pumping on Christmas?!"

"Holidays are no excuse."

"Ugh."

"Look what I did," Bucky pointed up to the ceiling with the arm that wasn't full of squirming Barred Rock. Up in the corner was a newly-constructed little platform with a railing around it. "A roost for my favorite bird." Bucky was gazing at him with those intense eyes. Clint felt his heart do a thing. "It was so good of you to make this for me. But just like my new life, it wasn't complete without a place for you."

Bucky showed him the little secret handholds to climb the wall to the roost. Clint would have managed on his own just fine, but he had to admit it was a little faster this way. Once he got up there, he wasn't surprised at all to find a duvet and a little box of important supplies. He and Bucky didn't go back down for hours, and it was a very merry Christmas indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout-out to this tumblr post for the Hawk-O's: http://gnarradical.tumblr.com/post/102314211990/clint-has-a-specific-generic-brand-cereal-that-he 
> 
> Thank you to @chaosprime, who yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" at me when I read him the line about Etsy, and also spent hours of his Christmas trying to talk me down from using "sciensonic" for my fake techno-babble. He used TV tropes and actual real-life Avengers graphic novels to try to change my mind while I just sat here giggling helplessly.


End file.
